


kill / pray

by angocore



Category: Fire Emblem: Soen no Kiseki/Akatsuki no Megami | Fire Emblem Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Heartbreak, Kind of a modern AU, M/M, there are modern factors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-03 01:52:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15808923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angocore/pseuds/angocore
Summary: “I believe I’m in pain, Titania.” He whispered, his voice eerily calm as he stared uselessly at his hand.Titania only sighed, “You’re suffering.”“What’s the difference?” whats the point was what he meant to say. What was the point in living in a world without Ike? What was the point of building his walls high only to have a single man break them down and leave him just as broken? What was the point?“Suffering is a choice.”





	kill / pray

He couldn’t call this bittersweet, for he was more bitter than sweet.

In fact, he was more disgusted than anything; though, he still had trouble distinguishing his feeling of disgust for himself with the burn of disgust in the pit of his stomach for what he witnessed.

Ike had decided to run away with Ranulf.

There was a twist of pain within Soren, something similar to the breakage of an heirloom or the slaughter of a fellow sister. This wasn’t right. Soren wasn’t right.

This ache in his chest wasn’t right.

Ike didn’t say goodbye.

“Why would he?” Soren had mumbled to Titania upon realizing the suffocating absence in his home, “he never needed me.”

“He just needed a way to show it.”

His fingers twitched, curling into his palm as if he was yearning for something to hold.

“I believe I’m in pain, Titania.” He whispered, his voice eerily calm as he stared uselessly at his hand.

Titania only sighed, “You’re suffering.”

“What’s the difference?” _whats the point_ was what he meant to say. What was the point in living in a world without Ike? What was the point of building his walls high only to have a single man break them down and leave him just as broken? What was the point?

“Suffering is a choice.”

Titania left, brows knitting together when she stared pitifully at Soren, whose eyes widened ever so slightly. His brain struggled to process her words, eyes glancing back and forth from his hand to the knife on the kitchen counter; Hand. Knife. Hand. Knife. Pray. Kill. Pray. _Kill_.

Kill what was left of him.

Pray for the salvation of belonging.

Soren gazed at his nails, there was caked blood under them, darkened and dry from weeks ago when he and Ike drank their worries away in the back of his car.

The memory was like a photograph that Soren wanted to rip and burn.

Hot breath on the base of his throat followed by the warmth of vodka-coated kisses. Soren had tilted his head back just enough for Ike to bite and mark, lashes fluttering as his head buzzed with uncertainty- or was that raspberry vodka? Fingers twitching as they pulled at the thin cloth of Ike’s t-shirt. Soft noises that Soren could never utter to another. Gasps sharp, pleading for Ike to continue. To stay.

“ _Love me. Please love me._ ”

Soren felt nausea muster in the pit of his stomach.

He tugged at the collar of his sweatshirt- Ike’s sweatshirt, he couldn’t wait to throw it away or bury it and spit on its makeshift grave- and hummed.

There wasn’t much that Soren could change about what had occurred. The thought of falling to his knees and bruising his skin for the sake of begging for Ike to stay left a taste in Soren’s mouth that was too similar to venom. Part of him wanted it, though; part of him wanted to press his cheek against Ike’s palm and cry for what he so desperately wanted but could never have.

He had spent too much of his life crying.

Soren’s eyes fixed on the knife on the kitchen table, and he turned away to stride into the other room.

_Pray._


End file.
